If one of the things you like about the small talk with T is the sense of connection you get, the ability to ask her questions, and the feeling of getting to be close to her that way-- I can tell you that opening up to her about you and how you really feel will enhance that connection and closeness. When I have a session where I share a lot about how I feel, or about my childhood, or about the really deep stuff-- there might be a moment where I feel embarassed or worried that it will make T feel differently about me or that it will make her think I'm not "fun" becuase we aren't laughing like we often do-- but afterwards, T will say to me "Thank-you for sharing. This is the closest I've ever felt to you" or "I'm so glad you were able to share; I feel like I know you so much better now, and I really want to know you better." I've learned, over time, that it really enhances my relationship with T when I let her in and let her see me how I really am-- and not try to put on a happy front when I don't really feel that way. And, of course, it's helped me process and work through things. After all, T is there to be our therapist. As my T would say, sometimes we can relate to one another in a friendly way or a maternal way, but her role in my life is as my therapist; if she's not doing therapy with me, then she isn't really doing her job. But it's my responsibility to give her the information and cooperation she needs in order to do that job. After all, making the decision to "step up" and really put 100% into my therapy is the way that I can take responsibility for my life and do my part to make sure I get the most out of the one life I have-- because I'm not going to get another one!