I felt like that for a loooong time. What is stable, what is normal, what to expect when it arrives?

For me stable is = to content. I am neither up nor down. I am right in the middle of the road. Well maybe less exciting than mania, I know how I will react to things, I can predict how I feel upon waking, I know that when something stressful comes a long I will likely be able to manouver through it. I feel like I am the one steering the ship of me. And it was a big adjustment, cause that didn't feel right either at first. Scary almost.

However, it took me about 7 or so years to get there, not to be a downer. but it did. I was either always manic, depressed but not as often, mixed, maybe sort of stable for a month here, few weeks there. But others seems to find this a lot sooner. I don't think I was an easy one from my pdocs. And I never did find that med combo. But I found other ways that work for me.

I think navigating this thing takes a lot of time, energy, and being detectives on our selves. And some people do not like to let go of the mania, I had a hard time with that as well. After i started to realize how nice feeling content, peace, even predictability could feel I let go of that.

It's not a novel, trust me Write as much as you want!