Thanks for the replies!

Yeah, meds I'm on aren't working but I get to see pdoc today so we'll se how that goes. I guess I have a couple coping skills but It doesn't feel like it. Just being able to talk about the stuff isn't good enough for me to manage my moods.

Yeah, my episodes keep getting worse and if my next episode is anything like the last, I know I will lose it all. My husband is giving me one last chance but I don't blame him. I put him and unfortunately the kids through so much.

I know the drill and I won't quit my meds.

I just feel like how am I supposed to find a balance or any sense of "normalcy" (whatever that is) when bipolar bipolar bipolar is being thrown in my face everyday? I dunno, maybe I only feel this way because I am still new to the diagnosis and because I'm still trying to make sense of it. I'm still trying to make sense of my last episode. It's hard to wrap my head around all this. Maybe I just need to find a new perspective.