Hello & Welcome, KittyBug!
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Originally Posted by KittyBug
They all think it should be magically fixed or like I can control the depression.
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Classic reaction by many of those who've never experienced depression themselves.
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Originally Posted by KittyBug
I feel like I'm stuck in 'muddy water' not happy or sad but in limbo.
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This is similar to the way I experience depression.
I'm a poor one to offer advice, as I've only succeeded in managing depression at a low level. Also, as you know being no stranger to depression, advice is easy to give and nearly impossible to actualize due to the paralyzing effects of the illness.
Were you able to bring anything positive away from your recent hospitalization?
Please keep posting.
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My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.