Hi Wyrd One - To me it simply sounds as though you've outgrown each other, she clearly has a lot to deal with and if she isn't sure about the relationship anymore then something has to give otherwise she could risk going under and losing everything. If shes working 80+ hours a week i presume you don't see much of each other as it is? It seems a shame that after 11 years she's decided you aren't 'equal' anymore - what does that even mean? Surely two extremely ambitious, high powered, dominant people wouldn't go together quite as well as she thinks? There is always an alpha in a relationship and if she can't handle being in a relationship with you is it likely she'd be able to cope with someone even more confidant? To me it doesn't quite make sense. It does however sound like shes confused and needs some time to herself. I completely understand about you saying you've lost your sense of self - its very important you continue to attend therapy and work on yourself and what you want from life. Do you think she is willing - or even has the time - to commit to therapy? I don't think its right for her to string you along, if this has come pretty much out of the blue its likely shes had these feelings for a while but simply hasn't quite known what to do about it. I would state outright you are willing to work on improving the relationship but that you are you and you cannot suddenly morph into a different person. If she is commited to making a conservative effort to improve things, i.e. wanting to go to therapy because SHE wants too and she realises things won't change over night, by all means stick with it, otherwise i would leave now before she runs out of even more patience. Hope ive been helpful. All the best.