I agree with what's been said. It is entirely possible to have a fetish and not have it completely dominate a relationship. Your ex, I believe, wasn't able (for whatever reason) to keep a reasonable handle on it. Additionally, I do agree with you that the panty hose thing you mentioned speaks to at the very least confusion in his priorities...you should come first.

At any rate, it is the past. I think it's a matter of a person, not the fetish. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope I was of some help.

My best,
Harley