Are you taking your meds now? It sounds like you may be going through a manic phase, like your mind is racing with all this stuff that you don't know what to do with. I don't think there are any great words of wisdom. I know that we do not see ourselves the way others see us. We're too close. I think of it like news print. I am the picture, but I am just a bunch of dots as far as I can see. My family and friends are far enough back that they get this great, clear picture I will never see. Compliments are just them telling us what the picture looks like from their perspective, while we insist that "no, I'm not! I'm a bunch of dots!" Listen to them and nurture those things that others seem to see and you don't. Hang in there!