I walked out of my session 2 weeks ago, after 15 minutes, and I've been seeing my T for about 18 months, and I've had 5 years of therapy before this. I just felt like I didn't want to be there, that my T couldn't help me, so I think I get at least part of what you are experiencing.

I went back last week. I thought about canceling, I thought about just not showing up, I thought about calling the receptionist and having her switch me to one of the other 20 T's that work in that practice, and I thought-- and said-- when I got there, that I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about last week or not. He said, as he always does, that it's my choice.

So I used the session to talk about the things in my life that I couldn't walk away from, the things I could, and learning how to tell the difference. I also realized that while I'm comfortable with silence, I don't like silence that follows after me talking. I don't care for how I put something out there, and then I get nothing back. I know that he is trying to give me space to talk if I need to, but I'm feeling like I want more back from him. So I started saying "what?" after his silences and damned by the time that the session ended, he started speeding up his responding.

I would say that I agree with you-- I don't see how I can be helped. I'm going through something that is really challenging me, physically and emotionally, and shaking up my world in very unpredictable ways. But I am interested to see what it will be like when I'm on the other side, when I've worked through this. I don't know if you are saying that you are hopeless-- that's a different kind of not knowing how you can be helped. But if you just can't see how to get to the other side-- I don't think that's necessary for healing. For me it's like standing on the edge of a cliff looking across some expanse of water to a foreign land on the other side. Too far to jump, too steep to climb down, water looks too scary to swim across.

You just have to want to get there, or be interested in what it's like over there.