My wife and I are having some sexual issues. We have always had a strong sexual chemistry between us and a well above average sex life. Recently, she started dealing with her CSA issues. It has turned our world upside down. She is struggling in a major way and has had to make adjustments at home and work just to make it through the day. In couples therapy she expressed the need to keep some things in her life normal....specifically our sex life. I know it probably seems odd....but the problem is mine not hers.

I've been trying my best to be strong and understanding and comforting. I know it's not physical....all she has to do is look at me and I want her.....and it ummm shows. It's mental. I'm not sure if she remembers, but when we first started therapy together she told me that our sex life (me) was a trigger for her but that it was ok because she could handle it....she had it under control. I never let it bother me but it stuck in the back of my mind. Now, I'm scared. I feel like I'm damed if I do and I'm damed if I don't. On the one hand, I don't want her to think I don't want her....that her past has changed the way I feel about her...or anything like that. I do want her...I love her and she knows that. On the other hand, I don't want to trigger her.....I'm not really sure if she can handle it anymore....I don't want to be the reason she goes over the edge. It would crush me. I want to be with her.....but I can't. I feel selfish for letting my fears take over.

I think I'm really screwing up here and I don't know what to do.

Gman