nope can't change the past. i don't know what it is you missed. but whatever it was, you knew that you needed that money for your family, you have children, a baby.

but you feel hurt and left out... maybe someone could've easily lent you $12 - sounds like a ticket somewhere, maybe through work, and if it was something like that they seriously should've just bought it for you dammit. but they don't cuz people are weird.

anyway feel your feelings, you're ok to feel mad or sad or injustice. my guess is whatever happened wasn't fair. i'm sorry hun