that is why you feel like you cant be helped. u wont be able to really make a ton of progress without some level of trust with t. think of t as your partner in all of this. she can help if you are willing to work with her, and let her be there for you. it takes time, but when you guys finally "click" is when the magic begins to happen. I know this from personal experience. the vulnerability sucks, but if you let her prove that she will stick with ya through it all, then it will be worth it.