Antimatter, I know it's HARD. It does ******* SUCK. It ISN"T fair. It's understandable to be angry, and sad, and HURT.

I felt the same way you did when I was terminated. It was SO confusing for me because my T had always indicated I would be in control of my therapy and ultimately, it was HIS decision that ended it. You are correct. You may never know all the answers to why your therapy ended. Five years later, I still don't quite know what happened but I DO know this....it wasn't because of me. He used me as the reason but it was his OWN shortcomings, unhealthiness, insecurities, fear or whatever that caused him to take actions to protect himself. Another T once explained it to me this way, some T's have a difficult time seeing the bad parts of themselves.

I know it's difficult. I hope you find some peace.