I saw newT today, and the session went well. We talked about how maybe during the months of termination that I felt xT pulling away and he agreed that I might not have been able to NOT be clingy.

I really like how newT acknowledged that xT had a part in what happened and that maybe your behavior was a hard wired response that you did not have control over at the time

He said that he didn't know if I could stop being dependent, and that the way to work through it is through talking about it and basically accepting it.

I like this part too because what I hear newT saying is that he accepts you, wants you to accept you, and can help you do that.

I felt compelled intensely at the end and after session and I was, honestly, terrified that I'd been too intense, and that my attachment issues were going to be too much for him. I was worried that he would think, "What a piece of work, why did I get this referral? I drew the short stick."

Basically, I was afraid that he felt how intense my emotions were and that he might decide that I"m not worth it.

I always think I am too much for T too...

I am going to do this, I am going to get through this, and with help, I might be able to function and possibly be happy somewhere down the road. I can only hope, but at least I have hope.