I would just like to throw out that, if your mom does not have much personal property (if she does not own her home, or have much assets,) then she would be eligible for medicaid to cover nursing home costs.

One other thing I would like to throw out is that no social worker is going to appear and ride in like the cavalry to solve this. That will only happen when and if you tell "the authorities" that you will not continue doing what you are doing. You might actually have to get a motel room and literally leave the house. Of course, you would have to call adult protection services first and tell them that you are leaving. No law forces you to stay doing what you are doing. The law does force your mom to accept some kind of care arrangement, if she is incompetent to be responsible for herself - which seems to be the case.

If you are living in a home that your mom owns and you want to stay there, then you are in a touchier situation. Have you ever lived on your own completely independent of your mom. If not, then you are possibly accepting this arrangement because you are afraid that you may not be able to manage taking care of yourself, if your leave. If your mom owns property, you may be afraid of losing your inheritance. Those are legitimate concerns. Somehow, or another, your mother has leverage over you, and she knows it, and she is cruelly wielding that power. Despite her mini-strokes, your mom is out-foxing you. It is a shame that someone would do that to a daughter. You're not the first person in this situation. I've seen it first hand and it's usually the end game of a long toxic relationship controlled by the parent. When I saw it up close, it was like Aquarius mentioned. The mom was a drinker. Some people can get that nasty, even without alcohol.

At age 30, you are still young enough to have a chance to make a life for yourself. Let another 5 or 10 years go by, living as an abused servant, and your own competence to become something better than that will be diminished. It's much harder to start making a network of friends at 40 than it is at 30. If you have any kind of a family lawyer, you might ask for advice about how to proceed. If, and only if, your mom were to be sent in to a geri-psych unit for a competency eval, then the social workers at that facility would have a serious talk with you about options. And you needn't worry that they would keep her locked up there for long. They won't.

I wish you well in your search for a solution. It is much harder for you to think about than for me who is not in your shoes. My guess is that maybe things weren't so great, even before the mini-strokes. Maybe you've had a long, hard history of being exploited. I'm sorry for what you are having to deal with. It is very unfair.