Death and Dying

For the past couple of days I have thought a lot about death and dying. I can’t figure which is worst or better. Death would be an end, then comes the mourning, which can last forever. But all the suffering would be over. Dying is day in and day out of pain, loosing dignity, trying not to look sad for family and friends…….

As I sit and watch Nancy breathe, I wonder how much longer it will be.
She is very intelligent she has ways of hiding the most obvious of things, she shakes so bad now that it is hard to get her food to her mouth. So rests her arms against the table to steady herself.
I wonder where my mental, physical and spiritual self comes from….
It is so hard to watch her fade away…and there is nothing I can do….that is the hard part…there is not a damn thing I can do.

I am grateful for my family, and to the special people who write to me everyday….. Without the deep compassion and love from my best friend, Ms M. I don’t know what I would. She gives me valuable time, advice, coping skills and just the right words to make it all better for the moment.

When Nancy and I were dating. I heard a song on the radio….
True Companion…. That would be our song. She had such a spark in her eye… For all her good works in life I wish her a safe passage…My True Companion….

True Companion - Marc Cohn

Baby i've been searching like everybody else
Can't say nothing different about myself
Sometimes i'm an angel
And sometimes i'm cruel
And when it comes to love
I'm just another fool
Yes, i'll climb a mountain
I'm gonna swim the sea
There ain't no act of god girl
Could keep you safe from me
My arms are reaching out
Out across this canyon
I'm asking you to be my true companion
True companion
True companion

So don't you dare and try to walk away
I've got my heart set on our wedding day
I've got this vision of a girl in white
Made my decision that it's you allright
And when i take your hand
I'll watch my heart set sail
I'll take my trembling fingers

And i'll lift up your veil
Then i'll take you home
And with wild abandon
Make love to you just like a true companion
You are my true companion
I got a true companion
True companion

When the years have done irreparable harm
I can see us walking slowly arm in arm
Just like the couple on the corner do
'cause girl i will always be in love with you
And when i look in your eyes
I'll still see that spark
Until the shadows fall
Until the room grows dark
Then when i leave this earth
I'll be with the angels standin'
I'll be out there waiting for my true companion
Just for my true companion
True companion
True companion