It's unfair for your daughter to put so much responsibility onto you. I could see if it was a situation like "Hey, H and I are going to ____ place, could you watch the kids for a few hours?" Basically, giving them a brief occasional reprieve, sure.

But putting it on you to wash the dishes, cook, and do laundry? You aren't her maid.

There isn't anything you can do at this point that won't upset her because she seems to expect you to go all out and take care of her, but perhaps it would be useful to purchase one of those small dry-erase boards, and make a list of things that she or her H need to do throughout the day. Don't do as many things for her, but guide her and her H in managing their time on their own.

I'll try to make a little example:

MONDAY
[time] - D - wash dishes
[time] - H - take out the trash
[time] - D - do laundry
[time] - H - make dinner
[time] - KIDS - put away toys
[time] - KIDS - take bath, get ready for bed

And maybe have them alternate chores on a daily/weekly basis? When you're there, maybe you could help her in getting the kids involved with chores, depending on how old they are? Also, a good idea might be to add in a separate time block, maybe an hour, for H to get his alone time, and another time block for D to get her alone time.

Another fun idea could be using chalkboard paint to make something similar!