I am doing terribly right now.....

I'm not sure if it's caused by me tapering off some strong meds that I've been on for years or from the paranormal stuff I've been into lately...but I just had THE WORST nightmare I've ever had in my entire life. I've had flashbacks before which were horrible....but never something like this. Never.

I am so shaken up right now and have been crying constantly. I need to get my daughter up for school soon and I'm not sure I can do it without bawling because she was the most significant part of the nightmare.

I have other symptoms of withdrawal right now too - so I'm assuming it's from that....restless legs, stomach cramping, loose bowels, restless sleep and insomnia....and the restless part is the most unbearable. And all I'm doing is tapering down on the meds because there was some screw-up and I'm a week short of the med.....so I won't have enough to last til my next refill. If this is how bad a tapering off feels, I can't imagine going off the meds entirely....

T would tell me to try to make meaning of it....Thankfully, I see T today so I can probably work through it with him, if I don't end up just bawling the entire time....I'd imagine it has to do with all the things I've been scheduling lately and having to leave my daughter in the care of others (my mom, my sister, my niece).

In the month of October, alone, I am busy every Friday and Saturday night except for one weekend....7 events in one month...and each Monday, I now go to a class....so that's more time away. I'm going to have to cancel some of those dates. It's too much time away from her. She has to be my priority.

I wish I could just bleach that nightmare from my brain.....