I'm sure many of us here can relate to how you feel, and somehow it is easier/safer to talk with people on here rather than people in our real life, without worrying they would betray us and tell others esp when we have trust issues to people around us.

Life is long, everyone would somehow lose themselves at some point in their lives, get confused, we have to find the courage to establish our goals again, to make our own paths, go through it with bravery. We are all struggling here, but we can support and comfort each other when you need help, hang in there, you are not alone!!