I don't necessarily think the therapist is the problem. Rather, I believe that a therapist isn't the be-all, end-all solution.

If you're being proactive and feeling better with the therapist, then that's a step up from not being proactive at all and feeling like hell constantly. True, the therapist is a crutch. And you are right to feel that you should not need this crutch forever. But it's better to walk with a crutch at first than to not walk at all.

Coping better and learning to be self-reliant are some pretty big goals. They take time and steps. The fact that you want that and that you're reaching for it is a good thing though. Yes, lacking control and the ability to make a move are problems. Recognizing that and setting goals are some of the first steps in solving these problems though.

Maybe you could do some research on methods people use to cope and push themselves? Your therapist might even have techniques that he/she could teach you, which you could use by yourself.

I think you're worried that at this point you don't need your therapist and having one is just teaching you to be dependent on someone else in order to feel good. It is possible to fall into this trap too. I don't know where you are in your development though, so I don't know if this is the case or not. Sorry. Keep making strides forward though. No matter where you are, that will always serve you well.