Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
I started a longer post reply but it was overkill.
Simply put, what I see in your final statements is that you're still in a mindset of what she wants over you. Stop and think very deeply about what you want, not what she wants for you. Not what you want to do for her, but what do you really want, separate from her (not separate as in without her but individually).
I hope this makes sense. I know it does in my head.
I feel for you. I too am a guy that did the same thing with my wife (separated, getting divorced) for 13 years.
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You're right, I am still there. This is a recent revelation and I'm just starting to change my line of thinking. I am learning to recognize when I'm thinking "her" or "us" too much and am instead figuring out how to ask "what do I want?".
I am now working to reclaim my individuality and if that helps to save my marriage that's great, but if it does not it's still something I need to do for myself anyway.