This is about therapy because I wish I could have my session and not have to wait 2 more weeks!! I could use help from my DBT leader but I don't think she would return my call in time to help me.

Is there anyway you can call or email your T and get some guidance?

I thought I was helping out with the kids, laundry, dishes but my d. says I'm not helping enough. I always feel triggered when I'm here because I feel like I'm unwanted and unappreciated. But it seems like my d. always feels I don't do anything. I see coming here as a sort of vacation and a time to enjoy my grandchildren. I don't have the energy I had when I was younger though I try my best. It's not good enough, though.

Does your daughter fully understand your limitations? Do you think it would be helpful if she did? As a daughter it has been hard for me to accept my mother's limitations. It is scary to see our parents become less capable as they age.

I don't want to get into details but I feel bad about this situation. I am supposed to do the shopping and cooking (but my d is a gourmet cook and I thought she doesn't want me to do it) but she didn't tell me that. She's overworked and overtired but her H helps a lot. My H doesn't feel well and sleeps a lot so he's no help except in buying things they don't want from thrift shops.

Sounds like she is wanting and expecting you to read her mind. Would it help if you both could find a way to express what you need from the other?

I just did many dishes (the dishwasher may be broken) and swept the floor. Last night I got 2 hrs. of sleep because of my allergies. I went with my daughters and the kids to a fun place for them. I didn't know I was supposed to let my d. stay home and I take my grandson.

Sounds once more like d wants you to mind read. Is is possible to have an open discussion? Maybe express that you want to help, but when you try to figure out what she wants and do not hit the mark, it is making you feel inadequate and defeated? Maybe express that you do have limits. She may be so exhausted that she can only see as far as her own needs.

I am always exhausted when we get back home even though I don't "help". It's not a good situation at all.