I definately think my depression is number 1. Throughout my day, I find that if I could beat my feeling of hopelessness and that nothing I do will matter, I would be a hundred times better. No matter what I do when I'm down it won't stop. I refuse to take meds for it. I did that last year. My T tried a bunch of different ones and they just turned it up to the point where I lost control and left my job. This is right after I got a promotion and the corner office. Nothing mattered. I could have won the lotto and it wouldn't have mattered. My depression is my disability,