I think a person needs a certain degree of ego strength for certain types of therapy. If it were me deciding on the referral, I would assess the ego strength and recommend therapy that is not too harsh, downgrading, or apt to trigger the person into a crisis if the person currently doesn't have the ego strength to withstand that. I think any person can benefit from the less harsh, more supportive therapies and they can work toward greater ego strength and perhaps a different therapeutic approach down the road, if the more supportive therapy cannot help with their issues. For example, I recommended recently that a young man have interpersonal therapy rather than CBT because I didn't think his current ego strength could handle CBT. IPT was a much better fit, and it is an evidence-based therapy for depression and anxiety, which were his main complaints. I do not think he would have been helped by CBT and given his fragility, he might have been harmed by it. I know your situation is different, but I just give that as an example of how a certain type of therapy might not do a person good.

Anyway, I don't know what types of therapists your nurse was reluctant to refer you to, but maybe if you specifically asked her for referrals to therapists skilled in the supportive therapies, she might be willing?

I'm sorry you are stuck in this situation. Your nurse sounds unknowledgeable about therapy and how it can help a person.