So I went in to therapy today with a mission- to tell T how I really felt. So we sat down and made small talk for ten mins as always. So T sat across from me with her drink and sat there looking at me. I wanted to run but she locks the door and keeps the keys in her pocket. I really hate people looking at me, so I put my head down and fiddled with my fingers and avoided eye contact.
T asked how I was doing and I said not too good. She asked why and I said because I am feeling like crap lately. I told her about how everything reminds me of my ex lately and I am getting triggered by everything. T asked what I am thinking when I see these girls that my ex cheated on me with- I have seen this one girl that moved into my house straight after I left three times in the last two weeks and she looks straight at me and says hello...
I want to kill her(i won't but I feel like it) T says I am giving myself alot of anxiety by worrying about bumping into these people all the time. She said I need to start to look after myself. I told her I need to move away far away from home to get away from all the stress but she didn't think it was a good idea.
So again I am in limbo not knowing what to do and stuck in the same old crap place I always am....I hate therapy and everything right now.