Try not to be too hard on yourself is a big one for me. Next keep going and try to be as open as you can be. It's really difficult at times but I can't say that anything bad has happened from me being open with T.

Whenever I push past my fears or sometimes not even that, sometimes it is just showing up IN my fear and then letting him meet me there...something good and transformative occurs.

I can really relate to being the one that people come to for help. It is not easy to break from that and I still haven't but try to remember that you deserve help too. Taking time to give yourself little comforts helps too. Can you cook? I cook a special me dinner on Friday nights now...just for me after the kids are asleep.

Hang in there I know it's tough but it will get better in time