IF I may ask? - are you thinking about harming yourself as a way to make your wife hurt even more.... are there other issues in the marriage that you have not disclosed as of yet?
I ask this for when I was suicidal - I used to think: IF I harmed myself then it would the ultimate punishment (emotional hurt) to my husband.... to hurt him as much as he had destroyed me in the past.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))