Hi Everyone,
Haven't posted in a while.
Things have been up and down as usual. I finally picked a day program for real this time! Believe it or not, it's the one I left after only one meeting with the caseworker, where I was upset and she didn't notice. She has been so patient with me over this past month, calling to check on me and everything. I was supposed to go in on tuesday to meet with her but then I got really anxious wondering if she'd be mad at me for this game of keep away I was playing with her (not returning calls, ETC) so I canceled my disability van rides at the last minute, and never called her to say I canceled. Yeah, not the best I know. Still she left a nice mesage on my voicemail just wondering if I was still interested in services and saying that she could meet me where I live even.
So today I finally just told myself I had to contact her again and just try again. So I left a mesage and e-mail thanking her for her patience and saying I did still want services believe it or not! So hopefully I'll hear from her tomorrow.
I only had twenty minutes with my therapist due to the disability van being stupid and late, and not finding the right entrance to the building and on and on. So yeah, not a lot of time. It's hard for me to talk with her sometimes. I had such a comfort level with my VMT therapist and could share strong feelings with her so easily, but that took like a year of building up trust. Here with this new therapist I can't even cry though I want to all the time. A big issue for me is still having strong feelings for the VMT therapist I was working with before I moved. I keep telling myself to just move on and it doesn't work. I told myself I wouldn't write her anymore, but then out of nowhere she wrote me responding to some things I sent her about how I'm doing. So I did write back and it felt good. Just hard knowing I can't really work with her anymore.
Because I only had twenty minutes yesterday I didn't ask my t why she doesn't talk in group t, but it was certainly on my mind. I just didn't have the time. She was the same this group, barely said anything. I'm liking her coleague more and more as she's the active one in the group. She's extremely warm and approachable, and always seems to know what questions to ask or comments to make.

In other sad news, I found out today that I can't apply for medicare because I've never worked, and my parents aren't on it. So yeah, that's really too bad. Just having medicade is so dumb. My OT said that his company is very generious with their services and a lot of the sessions actually end up being for free. He said other agencies won't be that generous if you only have medicade. So who knows?
Anyway, that's all for now.