As I've said previously, I'm currently part of a Partial Hospitalization Program here in Indy. It requires me to be in a group setting from 9 to 3 everyday! In the last two days my emotions have been all out of wack. The doctor increased my Geodon to 60 mg twice daily and I've just had it with drugs being the answer. They help, but it's a pain in the *****. I've been off work for 3.5 weeks and I just want to be better so I can return to work and earn a full paycheck. I want to be numb and not feel ANYTHING! Last night I slept really well, and tonight I'm not even tired. It's 11:31 here and I don't feel like sleeping. I'm tired of having to make daily goals to take care of me, why does that matter. I haven't fully accepted any of my diagnoses. I'm bipolar and would rather not have to deal with it. i'm just tired of being sick and it being and internal battle. My "friends" don't get it, they don't understand how I'm sick. Like I have to explain myself to any degree. I just feel the way I feel. I'm tired of it! Life is a B**** and I'm just over it. I'm tired of the ups and downs daily.

My rant is over...thanks for listening