((LivyLove))

I am sorry to hear that you're been struggling with super low self-esteem throughout your life. I have too, so I can really relate .

In my case, my self-esteem has caused a lot of problems for me personally, professionally, and romantically. My SE has been super low for all of my life, and I had also kind of grown accustomed to that reality many years ago. At the point when I assumed that's just the way life is & it didn't seem abnormal to me. Know what I mean? I hadn't ever felt positive SE, so how could I know??

I was in a hospital 4 years (or so) ago, for severe depression & we were talking in a group. One lady was an alcoholic/addict, yet she confidently claimed that she totally loved herself & went on to say that those who don't love themselves are completely unable to love other people in the world. As a married (at that time) mom, myself, I was NOT happy with her comment ~ especially when everyone in the group agreed with her! I was furious!

I can now see that I do love my daughters, and feel some emotions towards my ex-hub. But, I can understand that my SH gets in between myself and my girls at times. Those are times when I have to push myself hard to focus on the moment, to find the ambition to stay alive for my girls. I suppose that if my SH weren't so intense, I wouldn't be so eager to leave this life at times...despite the effects.

Hope that helps you understand the SH better. Gentle hugs to you!