One thing I learned for sure when my grandmother had her stroke last year is that the brain is an amazingly complex thing. My father and I have shared all of her care since she came out of the hospital. Prior to the stroke she was healthy, active, driving, working, supporting herself in a different state than my father and I . Then boom! Stroke! She had a 10% survival rate in ICU and 'if she survived would be in a vegetative state.' She survived, walks (somewhat unstably at times), feeds herself, dresses herself (most days). But she can't remember things like dates and time. She gets lost and confused. Somedays she hallucinates people in the house, they even talk to her. She was completely mentally healthy prior to the stroke.

Well, I wish I had words of wisdom at this point. All I can say is that I am so truly sorry for your pain. I truly, firsthand, know where you are coming from. My grandma doesn't get violent, but she can be manipulative at times. Oh yeah, and she puts clean dishes in dishwasher and the dirty dishes in the cabinet and tries to double dose meds due to 'thinking it's a new day' esp. after a nap. She draws $700/mth SS. It's just not enough and we qualify for nothing.