IMMS speaks the way it really is DM. We're not in the place you are right now and I'm not sure about IMMS but I HAVE been and recognize the despair. You are at a point where you need this meeting with the right folks who have the ability to help you...you're not sporting the tools right now to fight this alone. You've acknowledged that to be true but recognize the truth that with some help you'll get back the tools you need to feel better. Whatever it takes DM please give things a go. It can get better. Many people who've walked similar paths can attest to that. Let us know how you are today ok? Take care DM...Quizzickle