wander the room it's so quiet I'm scared I don't want to make a noise
I can panic when I get back!

...on my back I can see things I don't really want to see but close my eyes and I'm suddenly staring at things much much worse so on my back maybe wiggle a toe it aint much but it's a distraction!

where can I take my mind here in the dark will it follow me it's like jelly...

wobbly visions nasty breaking my heart with sad magic!

I am sad I want to die I cannot cry I will not lie beyond bein' shy

....I wander the room again in a dead body looking for something some kind of comfort I made so many mistakes to get here and I hate whats happened and it hurts knowing everything I don't understand!

I stop for a minute and cry for half of that and get sadder for more.

I need the dark I need the black shapes I love the sunshine too but it's in the hell of silent miserable night I learn....all alone in the corner holding myself tight...

shaking

that seems to be when I really fight this crazy illness business

forced to be sane