Your last sentence adequately summed things up - your husband has to want to be a better person, a better partner, for any kind of therapy to work. I may be wrong but you don't sound terribly keen on the idea of couples therapy - theres nothing wrong with this, nor is fantasizing about splitting up, it simply means you have to sit down with yourself once and for all and decide whether this is something still worth pursuing. Do you still love this man? Do you think that if you were both to undergo couples therapy you would be able to match each others energy and determination? I agree with Leed in that its a good idea for your partner to seek individual help for his anger issues - he can't keep taking it out on you, you sound fed up and exhausted as it is, so its obvious you won't be able to tolerate such behaviour forever. I hope this situation resolves positively. If you strongly feel deep down that you want to stay or go then commit to that and work on building the courage to carry out your plans. If couples therapy isn't an option maybe seek some counselling yourself so that you can work through how you feel and come to a better understanding of what it is you want. All the best.