Hi tonyace - im sorry to hear you're having difficulties in your marriage. Regardless of whether you have proof of the affair you clearly doubt her behaviour - do you think you will continue to do so even if she stops seeing this other man? Trust can't always be rebuilt. Do you still love this woman? It would be a shame if after 30 years you cannot work through these difficulties in therapy - this is a lot of hard work though and needs equal commitment from the pair of you. I would sit down with your wife and ask about how she really feels towards you after all these years - if she doesn't love you anymore i don't know what hope there is for the relationship. At the moment it certainly seem as though she has no respect for you or your feelings so i hope you can both work towards a solution. Whether you stay or go, stick to your resolve and be patient. These things take time. All the best.