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Claritytoo · Oct 05, 2012, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blossommayflower27

we just recently had this really intense and deep conversation with our best friend...and low and behold...we got to talking about all our different parts...and honestly got really really sad...we dont wanna loose what we have...and yet at the same time we know that some people just are not capable of making healthy choices for the body...they basically flat out refuse to...and so...we got all sad inside...and a little scared...because i realized that just because that part of me doesnt make the healthiest decisions...doesnt mean that we should get rid of them...and to me that is what it would feel like i would be doing...in a sense...and that makes all of me sad...we hold a lot of resentment for our mom...who has put up with our entire system for years...but at the same time there is a small part of me that resents her for not keeping all of me safe when i really was little and father would hurt us...sorry...so that tiny part feels lots and lots of resentment for mom...even though she had no clue anything was going on...and she did the best with what she had...and she did now and in our later years help out more...but when we were little we dont recall her being around much at all...i think she was working a lot...so now...part of me wants these parts that either hold resentment or are making unhealthy choices...we want those parts to go away...but at the same time...we dont wanna get rid of any of them...then we might miss them...and feel real real sad...i suppose i just dont know what to do about all this jazz...and that is why we decided to come here and write some of this out...for our own sake...i guess mainly...that and maybe get some suggestions if anyone can follow this nonsensical rambling of sorts...take care and thank you for reading this...for those of you that were able to...we really appreciate it...

I have spend a lot of years unaware of my system. It wasn't until I thought I was going insane that I found out that I had a "system'. I was always aware of my thoughts/voices and believed everyone's mind worked that way. I have since met many of my parts and I am grateful for all of them. Even the self harming ones because they are all there for a reason. To save us. To save our sanity and physical life. But some of them live in constant emotional and physical pain with hurtful memories. There are others that are happy to be alive and enjoy their existence. I come to believe that it is not fair to have any one of my alters exist in endless pain. This is what they saved me from. I believe if I can integrate all of us no one will have to live in endless pain. Yes we/I will know the truth, but I am big and strong and smart and it will not overcome me. I don't believe I will lose anyone. They will all just come back home where they belong.