I don't know if maybe my brain just likes playing devil's advocate, but I've been thinking about something that has come up quite a bit here. In fact, I think dark_x_heart summed it up best in saying the we have a cold, we are not a cold.

However I've been thinking about it and maybe with bp we are the cold. Although it is a disorder and we try to treat it to make the symptoms go away, I don't think we can say it isn't a part of who we are like we can with a cold or diabetes.

All our lives, we have been shaped by the disorder. To an extent, even our personalities are molded in with the disorder. While the core of who we are may not be changed by our disorder, the way other people view us definitely is. It effects our interpersonal relationships, whether we like it or not.

It can shape the kinds of people we interact with on a social level, as well as on a romantic level. For a long term relationship, we are steered towards people who have the patience and understanding to be able to handle our ups and downs, to handle our manic highs and our depressive lows. It can effect the types of relationships we have with our families.

I for one haven't talked to my father in almost five years because we happened to have a manic stage at the same time and clashed like oil and water. I don't know if that relationship will ever be fixed, considering he told me I was no longer his daughter, and I'm not sure that is something I can ever forgive, and understanding him like I do, it is something he will never acknowledge as his fault.

Bp is a major mental illness, and while it is an illness, it is also part of who we are. Maybe we would be better off embracing it as a part of us than trying to sweep it under the rug. I for one, am thankful for the disorder. If it wasn't for a bout of mania that gave me the courage to go after my gf, I would never be where I am today. I never would have pushed the boundaries I did as a teenager and I never would have learned how far is too far. I would have never learned to appreciate the good things in life the way I do without the crippling depression I have gone through that has showed me some of the worst that life has to offer.

Bp lets me see somethings from completely different angles. After going through an extremely bad depression last month, I woke up, in a manic state to see the colors of the leaves as they turn for the fall. The colors are as brilliant as I have ever seen them, and I appreciate them for the work of art they are. I can walk through the woods and drink in their beauty like life sustaining water. The bad makes you appreciate the good, and the extremely good give you something to hold onto when you fall into the darkness yet again.

Bp makes us stronger. It gives us the wisdom to know that every storm will pass, that the sunshine doesn't last forever. And while sunshine doesn't last forever, we also know that it will come back, as brilliant as ever.

I may not be a cold, but I am bipolar, and I am willing to embrace it as a part of who I am, because it has undoubtedly help shape the person I am today. It wasn't all good, and the road is undoubtedly full of dark and dangerous turns, but I take it with my head held high. Depression has showed me the dark parts of me that I want to change, and mania has shown me the beauty in life. For something to be good, you must know what the bad can be, and mania can give you the desire to aspire to something more.