Inky,

Maybe you would be interested in a book that could help you understand a lot of those questions. Women Who Hurt Themselves by Dusty Miller. It's not just about SI, but about all of the self-destructive things that we do and "Trauma Reenactment Syndrome." The author discusses why we do those things as well as what it takes to heal.

Here's one of the reviews from Amazon:

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A new perspective on why women with eating disorders, compulsions, obsessions, and self abuse disorders act out in self-harmful ways. In order to understand these women, it is necessary, says the author, to understand TRS, or Trauma Reenactment Syndrome. All of the women in this book were subconsciously reenacting experienced trauma in childhood. Once made to comprehend that, the women were given a "program" of sorts to help them find their way out of the ever progressive syndrome of self abuse. This book made me look at this syndrome with new eyes and a clearer understanding of the courage the women she writes about have. This book will provide assistance for the many women out there who live with the shame of their obsessions, and will provide hope for a brighter tomorrow. Dusty Miller writes to the average reader, as well as to therapists and other professionals. The book is easy to understand and hard to put down.

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