i broke down at work....again... but this time i totally dissociated and barely was able to stay safe... was in serious trouble ... one alter wrote t an email saying thank for all he had done to try to help us... next thing i know i am ontop the roof at work huddled in the corner crying ... wailing... dissociated.... my t was calling on the cell and i could not figure out how to answer the phone... finally was able to do it and he had called my s/o for me and my boss... no idea how he had my bosses number! then i made it down stairs to wait on my s/o and was out of it.., she found me curled up in my cars back seat wailing...
some lady from the building across the road heard me screaming an was also checking on me.... then my s/o took me to my Ts office. He was on his way in and I was watching myself from far away some of the time but mostly not even aware... another T in a different office heard me crying and she had my s/o take me back with her. She was having me smell lavendar and held my hand until my T came and got me.
i kept dissociating into an infant state of wailing but finally T got me grounded and safe.
They were all there when I was not able to do it.

The change thing is hitting a very deep pre-verbal alter who was abused at a few months old when mom had to be in the hospital for five days. It is a horrid pain that hurts so deeply I cant describe it. but i have support and know i can make it