...I cry sometimes for no reason

I feel like a murderer just as much I could really hurt people if I cut loose!

...and I seem to stay that way I want to damage the world around me I'm so freaking unusual it seems.

but the truth is .....I forgot what it's like to enjoy the comfort of another human ...

and this is what screwed me up this week I was all set to go to jail for f.ucking up mania a while back.

don't pull a knife on the cops....

I was all set to go to jail cos I feel like I belong there I have such bad thoughts and I can't argue with the law and they told me to take a bit of time "work it out!"....they said ....

I spent 4 months setting myself up for prison.....and they flipped it on me I was shocked!

it still might happen...

but now 4 days later I'm in the unknown world like WTF!!?

it would have been easier to get locked away.....4 months of mental preparation to deal with the prison world!?

and now they say .......take some more time...and it still might happen.

...so right now I don't know what I'm doin'?

clearly I can't sleep and the alcohol I've consumed in the meantime......

my liver is an athlete!!

but I'm just a sad and confused mentally ill guy

I was really hoping they would lock me up.....maybe thats why I'm so manic...?!

cos thats a pretty self destructive way of thinking...

so yeah thats me thats inside the monkey