I both agree and disagree with this. The part I agree with is that any client should tell their T anytime they want how they feel about anything. If you are bothered by your T not apologizing for what I'd consider a very normal event of asking to reschedule, then you should tell her.

I don't think that people need to apologize for asking people to accommodate them for scheduling when they go on vacation. My colleagues ask me all the time to accommodate them, it's something people just do for each other, and asking people to give you time off (essentially) is something that people are entitled to do. Your t has a right to go on vacation and she has a right to ask you to accommodate to her schedule, and that includes other people. This is also something my colleagues ask me for. I have a monthly meeting with 5 people in a working and administrative group. We meet at a very inconvenient time for me but at a great time for one guy. Usually I make it anyway. At other times I have asked the group to accommodate me. There is no need to apologize for asking other people to accommodate your schedule, including your vacation.

I don't agree that a T needs to ask you how you feel about anything in particular, but especially not something that really isn't an issue. If someone is upset about a T asking them to accommodate them, then they should tell their T how they feel. But it is not T's job to go poking around and try to guess around about everything. Should she ask every client how they feel about her changing every little thing? The rule in T and it's really a pretty good one, is that we bring our T's the issues we need to raise. Besides, I suspect that even when T's ask about how we feel, most people who aren't yet ready to acknowledge it are not going to admit it. So there is no real opportunity to discuss it unless the client can bring it forward.

Finally, I think that part of the job of the T is to model how we need to learn how to see benign events as benign events and not get upset about things that we should be able to take in stride as reasonable people. T asking us to reschedule for their convenience is a benign event-- it is not about us, it is about T's need to take time off-- and there is no hidden meaning and message about one's worthiness. So I don't think it's something that T should ask us about, as if we should be upset. Their behavior should say, I'm asking you to do this for my schedule, and I hope you can. They shouldn't say, I'm asking to change because I want you to get the message that you are the least special of my clients, and I want to jerk you around and generally make you feel miserable. In fact, I hope you get the message that I don't want to work with you anymore because I'm asking you to switch to a 4am appointment on Sunday.