James I feel ya my friend, I agree illness makes you lonely I'm not fit to be around another person, do you feel that way? I just wonder because it sounds that way and its very relatable loneliness is debilitating and painful. I don't think your damaged or dangerous just a little lost right now. I'm glad your opening up and talking to us. It helps well it helps me anyway. But you really need to take a nap buddy just a little one and I'm sure you'll wake up feeling better. Pm me if you need a friend, we all need friends after all. Stay good friend.