James, I killed a mouse one time... I did.

And I am not a killer.. but I did. And it was my pet. And I spoke about it one time here a long time ago. I loved him, and he was a good friend, and when I was very manic and I had taken a whole bottle of ritalin for some ungodly reason, and I didn't mean to do it, but it happened. And it happened by my own hand. I knew it was but I couldn't stop it.

I can't carry that with me forever. . I can't, I am not a bad person. But this is why you got to find another way..You need to heal, it's just too much pain to keep carrying around, and you have to forgive yourself. To keep going through the pain of it all over and over isn't going to change anything that ever happened. And you can heal, and you can feel good, and you are a good person James.

Do you think I am not right in the head ? Am I a bad person ? So see I was not always gentle..

You can win this James, I think so.. you gotta be open to possibilities