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Originally Posted by asp1079
Why is it that BPD sufferers tend to attract damaged people, or become so easily involved in relationships where wounding and healing are so readily involved?
I feel that I'm perpetually stuck with attracting friends and love interests alike who are unusual but often to a point where it becomes a savior/saved relationship with both of us alternating between the roles... or in some instances, me using my empathy to try to work through their issues where I just feel like they are emotionally draining me.
Anyone else suffer with this and feel really tired of it? I just wish I could find myself with some moderate individuals now and again, nice people but people who will not emotionally drain me or use me to correct damages, and just relationships in general that aren't with a very damaged person. It sounds cold but I almost feel like I crave the drama of the damaged person, yet sometimes it can get so intense it makes my own issues worse. It's a love-hate feeling....
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Right now, I am working on the idea that relationships with damaged persons is all I deserve. I am learning that I deserve better, however, I am aware that I don't yet have the skills or the information to change that pattern.
Growing up, I was raised by a wounded adult child of an alcholic. I wanted to comfort her and we comforted each other. But it was not good for me; I needed a parental figure that was strong, that I could trust to be there for ME, not the other way around. Children cannot be their parents' partners or friends; they need to be kids first.
So that was missing. I began to follow a pattern where I felt I had to "rescue" or be "rescued".
Just my thoughts.
Now, with my mentor's help, some info online, etc., I am slowly learing to reparent myself correctly.
I pray this will eventually generate more healthy behavior from my end so that when I am around people, I will draw and be drawn to, the healthier ones.
Peace,
Carol