I'll always adore you Blue. Sometimes I think it's so weird, you know. In real life, **** I have so many problems with pedators, it's not funny. I look like this samll tiny thing, innocent, I give off a vibe unintentionally with my body language. It's telling them that I am vulnerable, and weak, I won't fight, I am helpless.

And yet I am not any of those things at all times. I am capable of a lot of not so nice things. That is exactly why I have been watching videos of power poses and stuff, I am so confusing in what I put out to others. It's just a bit messy. That is why I have had so many problems with older men creepin around. And it's creepy. That one guy from my out patient therapy... he knew all this because we talked about it in group, way to put myself out there as a target. ok I am sooo off topic.

I figured out how to not use that manic rage for the bad, but I didn't figure out how to do the above.