I agree with the others.. I think you are being triggerd..

do not read the book.

It could also be your deperssion acting up on you too.

I feel this way sometimes when I get too tired to cope with my own feelings..

Try to remeber to cope as best as you can ok.

if not talk to us we are here for you.
no matter what ..

Love to you (((((( sundance )))))))))))