My "boyfriend" still doesn't understand how much the things that have happened, hurt me. I'm so tempted to send him what I write, to help him understand. Even though no words will ever be able to describe the way I felt... i don't know. Opinions?:

My room of reckoning:
I'm sitting. Calm... peaceful. I'm smiling, and laughing. I feel a hand rest on my shoulder, and I stop. The room goes dark. I close my eyes. When they are reopened i'm in a dark room. I'm sat down in a chair. I'm free, but I can't move. I can't speak. I hear a voice bellowing throughout the room. The voice belonged to him. I tried my hardest to move. To run. But I couldn't do a thing. Inside, I was screaming. I knew what was about to happen. He continued to speak. Telling me what to do. Every move he commanded me to make, was made. I couldn't stop it. His words, and sick twisted mind were in control. I was the puppet. And he was my master.

The demonic Power:
I'm laying in what feels like heaven. I'm calm, and relaxed. I'm about to drift into a deep sleep. I feel a rough hand rest on my arm. It frightened me, and I gasped. The somewhat demonic hand trailed it's way down. With each movement from the evil, my heart raced faster, and new tears flowed. I slowly turned my head, to see the face that owned the hand. Even though I already knew. My heaven has turned to hell.

The never ending story:
He took me in his grasp. He held me in the moment of hell. He whispered. His voice was kept so low, it was nearly impossible to understand. He forced me closer. I couldn't push him away, and I knew that. But that wouldn't stop me from trying. The sickened, frightened child that I was... I felt so powerless. He slid his evil under my clothing. I was so ready to tell... I was okay with dying. He had me exposed. He wouldn't let me free. That was the moment he would do something that would destroy me forever. I would never feel so much pain. It was so unreal. He held me down, and forced himself inside of me. No matter how much I cried, and begged him to stop... I knew it would never end. This was my "Once upon a time..."... My never ending story.

Sorry for posting these, by the way. I just need to know if this would ever help someone ever even come close to understanding. I love writing. I know... i'm not the greatest. Haha. But, this is the only GOOD way I can let out my feelings.