Apteryx, I don't think you're dense. I think "being there for you" IS one of those emotion-laden terms that means something different for everyone.

For me, I don't think it means going "above and beyond". I think it just means showing you care. Not just by saying you care, but through action.

It's like if you were to call up a friend while in crisis. The friend acts like she's listening to you, but you can hear her washing dishes and watching TV while you talk. She doesn't really ask questions...all she says is "uh huh" or "that sucks". She's "there", but she isn't really there.

Therapists who just sit there with a clipboard, not really saying much or showing much expression, would not "be there", IMHO.

Of course, I think there is a point where you have to accept the therapist's limit for how much they want to be "there" for you. They can't answer every phone message or email. They won't always say the most comforting thing when you're in pain. Sometimes, when you're having a crisis, they will have to cancel an appointment or cut one shut. The patient has a responsibility to define "being there" in a reasonable, realistic fashion. They also have to shed some of their mistrust and fear and allow the therapist to care for them...to "be there" for them. Because otherwise, what's the point?