I wonder if Provigil (modafinil) would be helpful to you. I was taking it for two years. It gives you a brighter perspective and a clearer thought process. I took 200 m.g. per day once in the morning with or without food.

Also, Paxil was helpful to me. I did experience a decrease in appetite for about thirty days or so, but I did not miss it lol. There are also some sexual side effects, inability to orgasm etc. but that also subsides with time. This combination did not have the suicidal tendancies manifest, perhaps a combination like this could work for you. It wouldn't hurt to bring it up at your next appointment, what do you have to lose, besides your sanity lol.

I know how you say you feel with your doctor. That is how I feel to. Just a number etc. It decreases our confidence in asking for what we need or "complaining" about what our meds. are doing adversely. This does not help.

There will always be rushed medical staff. This is the nature of their occupation. We have to choose to take the first step and speak up. Take courage~ This has been very hard for me to overcome, because of a fear of rejection etc. The old saying is true, the squeaky wheel gets more oil. Get your oil my friend. I hope you feel better soon. Sincerely, Glinda Gail