Thank you lightbulb and eskielover. I really appreciate your support. God knows I'd rather not take any meds at all but it's taken me years to realize I need them to gain some kind of stability. I'll ask about the provigil and see what my pdoc says. Finding something to make my thoughts clearer, hallucinations go away would be a big help. I know if I don't find something soon I'll wind up back at the hospital and I'd rather avoid that. Hopefully I can get an appointment soon. Thanks again for everyone's stories and advice. I'll put them to good use.