I don't think I can do the therapy thing right now. I don't have insurance or money being the main reasons. The other stupid reasons, or probably more accurately defined as excuses, are that I'm scared to tell my husband about my feelings and I know I'd be scared to tell a therapist about my feelings. I just keep thinking if I say any of this out loud someone will call me crazy and take away my kids. That's one of my worst fears. Hell, it took me years before I'd even drink alcohol because of being scared someone will come to my door, call me a drunk, and take my kids. Part of me knows it's irrational, but the other part just says it's cautiousness and normal.

And also, I know my parents care about and love me now. Slowly, but surely, I've come to realize and witness their warmth, love, pride, and respect. They think my family is wonderful and perfect. And I don't want to lose any of that either by admitting I have a problem.

Thanks again for your insight